The stoical side of kindness
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- Category: Philosofaith
- Written by M. U. Ndagi
- Hits: 694
The miserable nature of many developing societies including Nigeria seems to have re-defined, or more succinctly, keep re-shaping the meaning and concept of some virtues; in a perspective that appears un-orthodox. It is regrettable that “kindness”, which is a virtue that every human society needs in order to guarantee social cohesion, is today defined in the light of some “financial” assistance offered or received; leaving out the moral aspect that is no less important than the material that has become the most-cherished part of the definition. It is most unfortunate that some virtues in contemporary Nigeria have almost been turned into, where they have not already become, vices.
The past two and half decades of maladministration and poor leadership styles in Nigeria saw us through a radical but retrogressive transformation of our cultural life, resulting in the total collapse of our value system. Friendly relationship, a scarce commodity among people in modern Nigeria, is now determined by the extent to which monetary gains may accrue to parties concerned. People are so harsh and unfriendly towards one another that you begin to wonder at how they have managed to live as a nation in the last fifty years of political independence. Only God’s mercy and grace could explain the mystery. Apart from being a strange deportment to Islamic culture, such a materialistic mindset is traditionally un-African and naturally inhuman. Today, many Nigerians treat their fellow countrymen even at first meeting with matchless contempt, animosity and ill-will as if they were in a country of the Satan, man’s greatest enemy.These days, many people tend to forget during their interaction with others at the office, motor-park and even in our homes that there is a word, a virtue for that matter, called “kindness”. A trip to a public office that you have never visited especially where your face is likely to appear strange would educate you on how unkind and unfriendly many of us have become. From the entrance of the building that is supposedly a public office; the gateman is determined to harass you. He would tell you in a very impolite and uncivilized manner that you have come too early or too late even though your visit may not be outside official visiting hours or days. If you are lucky to find your way in, the secretary or Personal Assistant (PA) to the public officer you have gone to see may also be ready to frustrate you or your mission. He would insist, pretentiously, that the officer is busy in a meeting and would not attend to any visitor(s). While these deceptive forms of reception at public offices are sometimes ill-motivated by their perpetrators, they are in other cases at the instance of concerned public officers. You would prefer to miss an appointment with such officers than experience unkind and very unfriendly reception in their hands.
If you have a cause to join a public transport today, the un-courteous treatment you get from bus conductors and drivers, many of whom are reckless in manners and skills, is humiliating enough. This is just what many Nigerians go through on a daily basis. There seems to be general lack of kindness, friendliness, courtesy and sympathy among people.
Some of us in our private lives, too, could be amazingly unkind and unfriendly to others in their respective capacities as couples, siblings or offspring. A relationship that lacks courtesy is unfriendly. Kindness is not in how much money one offers in assistance to others; but beyond that, it lies in the moral support one gives to others. That is indeed kindness. God loves kindness and detests humiliation. Allah (SWT) states in Qur’an 28:77 “…but do thou good as Allah has been good to thee, and seek not (occasion for) mischief in the land: For Allah loves not those who do mischief”.
A smile on your face conveys kindness. It takes kindness to give warm receptions to visitors. The exchange of pleasantries and compliments as many times in a day as chances could provide, is a manifestation of kindness. After all, the Hausa would say “yawan gaisuwa yafi yawan fada” meaning “much greeting is better than much of quarrel”. A good speech to others is also kindness in its apathetic form. A kind person is friendly and should be seen to be friendly. The only way to attract, sustain and enjoy kindness as well as friendly relationship from others is for one to remain kind and friendly. No matter how the pressures of our economic and financial burdens make us feel, it is desirable that we make others happy through the friendly portions of the little kindness we can offer. Let us learn, as encouraged by Qur’an 15:88, to lower our wings in humility to believers, so that genuine kindness would flow from within us and extend to others.
It is embarrassing to Islam, which enjoins kindness to even animals that mankind should be treated unkindly. It is worst when a person who suffers humiliation and thus denied kindness is a woman, orphan, aged or under-privileged. The indifferent attitude of many Nigerians to public property is not only worrisome but also another stoical side of kindness. People no longer think they have a civic duty to protect public property. Perhaps, bad leadership may account for this unwholesome attitude of Nigerians. Yet, the irresponsible nature of some of our leaders is not good enough to justify such a tendency in the followership. Our leaders, in addition to being patriotic, need to be exemplary in their public as well as private lives. The National Orientation Agency (NOA) must be repositioned to fashion out a systematic cultural re-orientation programme for the country, in a way different from the white-elephant “rebranding” agenda that functions to promote some self-serving political interests of the proponents.
More strategically, religious leaders in their sermons and preaching should focus on virtues that, if imbibed, would enhance inter-personal relationships so that the world would be a better place for us to live in. May Allah (SWT) guide us to be kind and friendly to others, now and always, amin.
Articles
The stoical side of kindness
Category: Philosofaith Written by M. U. Ndagi Hits: 694
The miserable nature of many developing societies including Nigeria seems to have re-defined, or more succinctly, keep re-shaping the meaning and concept of some virtues; in a perspective that appears un-orthodox. It is regrettable that “kindness”, which is a virtue that every human society needs in order to guarantee social cohesion, is today defined in the light of some “financial” assistance offered or received; leaving out the moral aspect that is no less important than the material that has become the most-cherished part of the definition. It is most unfortunate that some virtues in contemporary Nigeria have almost been turned into, where they have not already become, vices.
The past two and half decades of maladministration and poor leadership styles in Nigeria saw us through a radical but retrogressive transformation of our cultural life, resulting in the total collapse of our value system. Friendly relationship, a scarce commodity among people in modern Nigeria, is now determined by the extent to which monetary gains may accrue to parties concerned. People are so harsh and unfriendly towards one another that you begin to wonder at how they have managed to live as a nation in the last fifty years of political independence. Only God’s mercy and grace could explain the mystery. Apart from being a strange deportment to Islamic culture, such a materialistic mindset is traditionally un-African and naturally inhuman. Today, many Nigerians treat their fellow countrymen even at first meeting with matchless contempt, animosity and ill-will as if they were in a country of the Satan, man’s greatest enemy.These days, many people tend to forget during their interaction with others at the office, motor-park and even in our homes that there is a word, a virtue for that matter, called “kindness”. A trip to a public office that you have never visited especially where your face is likely to appear strange would educate you on how unkind and unfriendly many of us have become. From the entrance of the building that is supposedly a public office; the gateman is determined to harass you. He would tell you in a very impolite and uncivilized manner that you have come too early or too late even though your visit may not be outside official visiting hours or days. If you are lucky to find your way in, the secretary or Personal Assistant (PA) to the public officer you have gone to see may also be ready to frustrate you or your mission. He would insist, pretentiously, that the officer is busy in a meeting and would not attend to any visitor(s). While these deceptive forms of reception at public offices are sometimes ill-motivated by their perpetrators, they are in other cases at the instance of concerned public officers. You would prefer to miss an appointment with such officers than experience unkind and very unfriendly reception in their hands.
If you have a cause to join a public transport today, the un-courteous treatment you get from bus conductors and drivers, many of whom are reckless in manners and skills, is humiliating enough. This is just what many Nigerians go through on a daily basis. There seems to be general lack of kindness, friendliness, courtesy and sympathy among people.
Some of us in our private lives, too, could be amazingly unkind and unfriendly to others in their respective capacities as couples, siblings or offspring. A relationship that lacks courtesy is unfriendly. Kindness is not in how much money one offers in assistance to others; but beyond that, it lies in the moral support one gives to others. That is indeed kindness. God loves kindness and detests humiliation. Allah (SWT) states in Qur’an 28:77 “…but do thou good as Allah has been good to thee, and seek not (occasion for) mischief in the land: For Allah loves not those who do mischief”.
A smile on your face conveys kindness. It takes kindness to give warm receptions to visitors. The exchange of pleasantries and compliments as many times in a day as chances could provide, is a manifestation of kindness. After all, the Hausa would say “yawan gaisuwa yafi yawan fada” meaning “much greeting is better than much of quarrel”. A good speech to others is also kindness in its apathetic form. A kind person is friendly and should be seen to be friendly. The only way to attract, sustain and enjoy kindness as well as friendly relationship from others is for one to remain kind and friendly. No matter how the pressures of our economic and financial burdens make us feel, it is desirable that we make others happy through the friendly portions of the little kindness we can offer. Let us learn, as encouraged by Qur’an 15:88, to lower our wings in humility to believers, so that genuine kindness would flow from within us and extend to others.
It is embarrassing to Islam, which enjoins kindness to even animals that mankind should be treated unkindly. It is worst when a person who suffers humiliation and thus denied kindness is a woman, orphan, aged or under-privileged. The indifferent attitude of many Nigerians to public property is not only worrisome but also another stoical side of kindness. People no longer think they have a civic duty to protect public property. Perhaps, bad leadership may account for this unwholesome attitude of Nigerians. Yet, the irresponsible nature of some of our leaders is not good enough to justify such a tendency in the followership. Our leaders, in addition to being patriotic, need to be exemplary in their public as well as private lives. The National Orientation Agency (NOA) must be repositioned to fashion out a systematic cultural re-orientation programme for the country, in a way different from the white-elephant “rebranding” agenda that functions to promote some self-serving political interests of the proponents.
More strategically, religious leaders in their sermons and preaching should focus on virtues that, if imbibed, would enhance inter-personal relationships so that the world would be a better place for us to live in. May Allah (SWT) guide us to be kind and friendly to others, now and always, amin.