Maikokos Anonymous
- Details
- Category: Philosofaith
- Written by Aisha Umar Yusuf
- Hits: 805
In the event of a popularity contest, there is every likelihood that my column piece ‘For our eyes only’ will come out tops among all the pieces I have written in Another Dimension. I got more responses to it than any of the others, and I still run into or get calls from people who will jokingly call me Maikoko, showing that something about that piece is still stuck somewhere in their minds. Is it because it touched on that most interesting, time-tested and sometimes most mysterious of human relationships; marriage?
It all began, as some readers might recall when I decided to share with you a story I heard from my former boss, MJ. In it his friend Abbati who was known to have been ‘inexplicably in love with his wife’ went to visit another friend Babawo in his office. On hearing the excited way Babawo was talking on phone to an obviously female listener, Abbati (of blessed memory, must the good guys go first?) asked Babawo whether that was his wife at the other end. Babawo, thoroughly shocked at the question responded, ‘Did you ever see a man talking to his wife on phone and laughing?’This question led me to a vox pop between men and women with varying degrees of marriage shelf life. Some men agreed with Babawo that wives are basically boring callers who say all the wrong things and make endless demands on phone while most women claim that husbands get what they deserve because they are mostly impatient listeners, so one is better off cutting all the niceties. There are, of course, exceptions to both claims on both sides. But what seems most appealing to readers was when I concluded the piece with a humorous story about the decline in estimation that some wives go through with the passage of time.
This anecdote goes thus. At the beginning of their marriage a man saved his wife’s name in his phone as Rayuwata, my life. After a year he changed it to Matata, my wife. After two years he changed to Mai dakina, a local variant of my wife. At the end of five years her name was saved as Maman ‘Yan biyu, the twins mother, and by the time the marriage was ten years old her name had become Maikoko, the pap maker. It’s hilarious, it made us laugh but it is also a reality that most married women can relate with. The law of diminishing returns. And so the maikokos responded.
The very first was Maikoko Jamila, who offered to be the secretary should an association of masu koko become a reality. Maikoko Sarai said such an association is a necessity, pure and simple. Maikoko Bilkisu said after eleven years she still enjoys endless long talks with her hubby, does that make her a maikoko? I said not really because she seems to be a getting a Rayuwa treatment. Maikoko Ramatu said the gisting and joking is still on after over twenty years, I said she is just plain lucky, her husband an original Abbati. Maikoko Halima said there has to be another name for those married over twenty years, they can’t be lumped along with youngsters of just ten years. I said to her take it or leave it Maikoko is the ultimate descent, and after ten years you are Maikoko for life.
These responses and more got me thinking. Don’t we really need a Masu Koko association to help us manage this inevitable stage of being not quite the’ Rayuwa’ of his life? Jamila and Sadiya have already hinted at such and the more I contemplated the idea the more I felt it’s feasible. So Maikokos Anonymous is born. All you need to qualify is ten years of marriage but you are welcome if you have been married for fifty years, the longer the better, for our purpose. Another requirement is having an email address, for it is very likely to be an on-line association, given the extremely busy lives we live today and the geographical spread of the respondents so far.
As we all know, change is not easy to adapt to, and some of us find it more easy to adjust to certain situations than others. This is why, for the sake of those who can’t get used to the idea of descending from Rayuwa to Maikoko, this is your chance to find help. You need to be ready to share your life’s experiences as honestly as possible to help guide fellow wives, on how to adapt to the great descent into maikokohood. Your anonymity is guaranteed, no one needs to know who you really are, you can even adopt a pen-name, all we want is to share your problems and possibly your solutions. And if you are still seeking a solution by the time you join us, we hope to put heads together to help you out. This is a non-partisan, non-tribal, multi-religious, purely women’s association that seeks to aid fellow women, not widows, who have marital issues. You will need a registration number though.
Thus I am, MKW (Maikoko wife) 001: Aisha, Chairperson.
MKW 002 Jamila, Secretary
MKW 003 Sadiya Member
MKW 004 Bilkisu Member
MKW 005 Halima Member
Other members are welcome. Know that this is not strictly an association for lamentation. We are also open to celebration. Any time something great happens to you, we will want to join you to celebrate. If your Abbati or Babawo, as the case may be, gives you a rare treat, tell us about it and if it took a little extra effort on your part to get it, also tell us what that extra effort was. Surely, we stand to gain by forming this support group for the married ten-year plus. So write to me through this column’s email, it’s right at the top of this page. I can’t wait to hear from you, I can already imagine us sharing great experiences. Therefore ladies, welcome to Maikokos Anonymous.
This column will take a break next week inshaAllah.
Sunday Trust
Maikokos Anonymous
Category: Philosofaith Written by Aisha Umar Yusuf Hits: 805
In the event of a popularity contest, there is every likelihood that my column piece ‘For our eyes only’ will come out tops among all the pieces I have written in Another Dimension. I got more responses to it than any of the others, and I still run into or get calls from people who will jokingly call me Maikoko, showing that something about that piece is still stuck somewhere in their minds. Is it because it touched on that most interesting, time-tested and sometimes most mysterious of human relationships; marriage?
It all began, as some readers might recall when I decided to share with you a story I heard from my former boss, MJ. In it his friend Abbati who was known to have been ‘inexplicably in love with his wife’ went to visit another friend Babawo in his office. On hearing the excited way Babawo was talking on phone to an obviously female listener, Abbati (of blessed memory, must the good guys go first?) asked Babawo whether that was his wife at the other end. Babawo, thoroughly shocked at the question responded, ‘Did you ever see a man talking to his wife on phone and laughing?’This question led me to a vox pop between men and women with varying degrees of marriage shelf life. Some men agreed with Babawo that wives are basically boring callers who say all the wrong things and make endless demands on phone while most women claim that husbands get what they deserve because they are mostly impatient listeners, so one is better off cutting all the niceties. There are, of course, exceptions to both claims on both sides. But what seems most appealing to readers was when I concluded the piece with a humorous story about the decline in estimation that some wives go through with the passage of time.
This anecdote goes thus. At the beginning of their marriage a man saved his wife’s name in his phone as Rayuwata, my life. After a year he changed it to Matata, my wife. After two years he changed to Mai dakina, a local variant of my wife. At the end of five years her name was saved as Maman ‘Yan biyu, the twins mother, and by the time the marriage was ten years old her name had become Maikoko, the pap maker. It’s hilarious, it made us laugh but it is also a reality that most married women can relate with. The law of diminishing returns. And so the maikokos responded.
The very first was Maikoko Jamila, who offered to be the secretary should an association of masu koko become a reality. Maikoko Sarai said such an association is a necessity, pure and simple. Maikoko Bilkisu said after eleven years she still enjoys endless long talks with her hubby, does that make her a maikoko? I said not really because she seems to be a getting a Rayuwa treatment. Maikoko Ramatu said the gisting and joking is still on after over twenty years, I said she is just plain lucky, her husband an original Abbati. Maikoko Halima said there has to be another name for those married over twenty years, they can’t be lumped along with youngsters of just ten years. I said to her take it or leave it Maikoko is the ultimate descent, and after ten years you are Maikoko for life.
These responses and more got me thinking. Don’t we really need a Masu Koko association to help us manage this inevitable stage of being not quite the’ Rayuwa’ of his life? Jamila and Sadiya have already hinted at such and the more I contemplated the idea the more I felt it’s feasible. So Maikokos Anonymous is born. All you need to qualify is ten years of marriage but you are welcome if you have been married for fifty years, the longer the better, for our purpose. Another requirement is having an email address, for it is very likely to be an on-line association, given the extremely busy lives we live today and the geographical spread of the respondents so far.
As we all know, change is not easy to adapt to, and some of us find it more easy to adjust to certain situations than others. This is why, for the sake of those who can’t get used to the idea of descending from Rayuwa to Maikoko, this is your chance to find help. You need to be ready to share your life’s experiences as honestly as possible to help guide fellow wives, on how to adapt to the great descent into maikokohood. Your anonymity is guaranteed, no one needs to know who you really are, you can even adopt a pen-name, all we want is to share your problems and possibly your solutions. And if you are still seeking a solution by the time you join us, we hope to put heads together to help you out. This is a non-partisan, non-tribal, multi-religious, purely women’s association that seeks to aid fellow women, not widows, who have marital issues. You will need a registration number though.
Thus I am, MKW (Maikoko wife) 001: Aisha, Chairperson.
MKW 002 Jamila, Secretary
MKW 003 Sadiya Member
MKW 004 Bilkisu Member
MKW 005 Halima Member
Other members are welcome. Know that this is not strictly an association for lamentation. We are also open to celebration. Any time something great happens to you, we will want to join you to celebrate. If your Abbati or Babawo, as the case may be, gives you a rare treat, tell us about it and if it took a little extra effort on your part to get it, also tell us what that extra effort was. Surely, we stand to gain by forming this support group for the married ten-year plus. So write to me through this column’s email, it’s right at the top of this page. I can’t wait to hear from you, I can already imagine us sharing great experiences. Therefore ladies, welcome to Maikokos Anonymous.
This column will take a break next week inshaAllah.