Your door to paradise
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- Category: Philosofaith
- Written by M. U. Ndagi
- Hits: 552
One of the foremost traditions of this column, as a matter of responsibility, is to remind readers of their duties; and to caution them against transgressing the bounds set by Allah (SWT) as well as the teachings of His prophets and messengers. It is in pursuit of this mission that the worth of parents is brought in to focus this week. Kindness to parents is, in recognition of its significance, decreed by Allah (SWT) in Qur’an 4:36 and Qur’an 17:23 as a duty next to the worship of one True God.
With such a position of eminence given to parents in Islam, one finds it very unbecoming of those who treat their parents in undesirable ways. While those who have lost one or both parents including those who did not grow up to know their father or mother (or both) would wish their parents were living so that they could make them happy in their own little ways, others who are privileged to have one or both parents alive seem not to appreciate the value of this destiny.Some of us as “cat’s paws” of Satan who calls to the path of unrighteousness or as victims of unpalatable alien cultures do not only disrespect parents but also scold and snub them. Some walk out on their parents and others would not talk to their parents for days or weeks when they differ from them in any matter. With the collapse of values in contemporary Nigeria, it is no longer news that some children even as adults insult their parents. Allah (SWT) states in Qur’an 17:23 “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents; whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life. Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour”.
There are children who even consider their parent(s) as liabilities especially when “they”, in the Nigerian sense, “have arrived”. These are the doomed “children” who send their parents to “Old People’s Home” for care. This is certainly not the best way for children to reciprocate the care given to them by parents in their childhood days. A former Nigerian military President was once asked (while still in office) in a press interview if there was anything he was missing in his life. He replied that he was missing his parents who did not live to enjoy part of all that Allah (SWT) had endowed him with including wealth. But today we are witnesses, in a degenerated generation, to people who address their parents as if they were the “parents” and their parents were the “children”.
Besides, there are individuals who do not only maltreat their parent(s) but also allow their wife/wives to equally hurt them. Such are the individuals who give their parent(s) only those things approved of by their wife/wives. They buy the most expensive dresses for their wife/wives; leaving their parent(s) in tattered dresses. If they have to buy anything for their parent(s) at all, it would be “second-hand” materials or as may be determined by their wife/wives. Where was your wife (or were your wives) when your parents (especially your mother) had sleepless nights to make you comfortable? …..bought you new dresses to make you look and feel good? ....cared for you in all circumstances to make you happy? Those who indulge in this form of betrayal are only cursing themselves and shutting the door to paradise against themselves. Allah (SWT) mentions in Qur’an 31:14 “And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (Hear the command) “show gratitude to me and to their parents…”
A companion of the Prophet (SAW) by name Alqamah was on his sick-bed and could not utter kalimatu-sh-shahadah, (the creed statement of Islam). Other companions complained about it to the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) asked if his (Alqamah’s) parents were alive and he was told his mother was. The Prophet (SAW) instructed that his mother should be asked to forgive his son if he had done anything to hurt her in the past. Initially, the mother refused to express her feelings. But when the Prophet (SAW) insisted that the sons’ inability to utter Kalimatu-sh-shahadah was due to her anger, she declared that his son loved his wife more than he cared for her (the mother); an act that angered her for a long time. She then forgave the son of his mistake(s) and the son was consequently able to utter Kalimatu-sh-shahadah after which he died. This is the extent to which the anger of parents could cost defiant children.
Mothers, more than fathers, need their children’s care, attention and love. The Prophet (SAW) in one of his prophetic traditions said “Paradise is under the feet of mothers”. It is reported on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (RA) that a man once came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked who between his father and mother deserves his care more. The Prophet (SAW) replied “Your mother”. The man asked again and the Prophet (SAW) “Your mother”. The man asked (for the fourth time) and the Prophet (SAW) now replied “Your father”. It is also reported on the authority of Abdullahi bn Umar bn al-As (RA) that a man once came to the Prophet (SAW) and said he was seeking the latter’s permission to go on hijrah (migration) and jihad in cause of Allah for the sake of reward. The Prophet (SAW) asked the man if he had one or both parents still living. The man answered that his parents were alive. The Prophet (SAW) told the man to go and take good care of his parents.
Islam ordains that we should obey our parents if they instruct us to divorce our wife/wives. Abu Daud and Tirmidhi report both that Ibn Umar (RA) had a wife whom Umar (his father) did not like and wanted him to divorce, but he refused to divorce her. Umar came and reported the matter to the Prophet (SAW) and the prophet (SAW) ordered Ibn Umar to divorce his wife. Unfortunately, what we see among the elite class of Muslims today is a reverse of the case where wives instruct their husbands to send their mothers (living with them in the city) back to the village. Abu Dardai (RA) said he heard the Prophet (SAW) saying “parents are at the center of the door to paradise. You may (therefore) wish to destroy the door or safeguard it”.
Let us be reminded that parents are worth everything good in this world. Let us remember our parents in prayers (as directed in Qur’an 17:24) and pray to Allah (SWT) for the forgiveness of their sins. Let us give alms in their names and dedicate the reward due for such to them. Let us care for and treat our parents well especially in their old age. Let us avoid doing anything that will hurt them. May Allah (SWT) guide us as He guided Prophet Ismail (AS) to be unreservedly obedient to our parents, amin.
Articles
Your door to paradise
Category: Philosofaith Written by M. U. Ndagi Hits: 552
One of the foremost traditions of this column, as a matter of responsibility, is to remind readers of their duties; and to caution them against transgressing the bounds set by Allah (SWT) as well as the teachings of His prophets and messengers. It is in pursuit of this mission that the worth of parents is brought in to focus this week. Kindness to parents is, in recognition of its significance, decreed by Allah (SWT) in Qur’an 4:36 and Qur’an 17:23 as a duty next to the worship of one True God.
With such a position of eminence given to parents in Islam, one finds it very unbecoming of those who treat their parents in undesirable ways. While those who have lost one or both parents including those who did not grow up to know their father or mother (or both) would wish their parents were living so that they could make them happy in their own little ways, others who are privileged to have one or both parents alive seem not to appreciate the value of this destiny.Some of us as “cat’s paws” of Satan who calls to the path of unrighteousness or as victims of unpalatable alien cultures do not only disrespect parents but also scold and snub them. Some walk out on their parents and others would not talk to their parents for days or weeks when they differ from them in any matter. With the collapse of values in contemporary Nigeria, it is no longer news that some children even as adults insult their parents. Allah (SWT) states in Qur’an 17:23 “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents; whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life. Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour”.
There are children who even consider their parent(s) as liabilities especially when “they”, in the Nigerian sense, “have arrived”. These are the doomed “children” who send their parents to “Old People’s Home” for care. This is certainly not the best way for children to reciprocate the care given to them by parents in their childhood days. A former Nigerian military President was once asked (while still in office) in a press interview if there was anything he was missing in his life. He replied that he was missing his parents who did not live to enjoy part of all that Allah (SWT) had endowed him with including wealth. But today we are witnesses, in a degenerated generation, to people who address their parents as if they were the “parents” and their parents were the “children”.
Besides, there are individuals who do not only maltreat their parent(s) but also allow their wife/wives to equally hurt them. Such are the individuals who give their parent(s) only those things approved of by their wife/wives. They buy the most expensive dresses for their wife/wives; leaving their parent(s) in tattered dresses. If they have to buy anything for their parent(s) at all, it would be “second-hand” materials or as may be determined by their wife/wives. Where was your wife (or were your wives) when your parents (especially your mother) had sleepless nights to make you comfortable? …..bought you new dresses to make you look and feel good? ....cared for you in all circumstances to make you happy? Those who indulge in this form of betrayal are only cursing themselves and shutting the door to paradise against themselves. Allah (SWT) mentions in Qur’an 31:14 “And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (Hear the command) “show gratitude to me and to their parents…”
A companion of the Prophet (SAW) by name Alqamah was on his sick-bed and could not utter kalimatu-sh-shahadah, (the creed statement of Islam). Other companions complained about it to the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) asked if his (Alqamah’s) parents were alive and he was told his mother was. The Prophet (SAW) instructed that his mother should be asked to forgive his son if he had done anything to hurt her in the past. Initially, the mother refused to express her feelings. But when the Prophet (SAW) insisted that the sons’ inability to utter Kalimatu-sh-shahadah was due to her anger, she declared that his son loved his wife more than he cared for her (the mother); an act that angered her for a long time. She then forgave the son of his mistake(s) and the son was consequently able to utter Kalimatu-sh-shahadah after which he died. This is the extent to which the anger of parents could cost defiant children.
Mothers, more than fathers, need their children’s care, attention and love. The Prophet (SAW) in one of his prophetic traditions said “Paradise is under the feet of mothers”. It is reported on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (RA) that a man once came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked who between his father and mother deserves his care more. The Prophet (SAW) replied “Your mother”. The man asked again and the Prophet (SAW) “Your mother”. The man asked (for the fourth time) and the Prophet (SAW) now replied “Your father”. It is also reported on the authority of Abdullahi bn Umar bn al-As (RA) that a man once came to the Prophet (SAW) and said he was seeking the latter’s permission to go on hijrah (migration) and jihad in cause of Allah for the sake of reward. The Prophet (SAW) asked the man if he had one or both parents still living. The man answered that his parents were alive. The Prophet (SAW) told the man to go and take good care of his parents.
Islam ordains that we should obey our parents if they instruct us to divorce our wife/wives. Abu Daud and Tirmidhi report both that Ibn Umar (RA) had a wife whom Umar (his father) did not like and wanted him to divorce, but he refused to divorce her. Umar came and reported the matter to the Prophet (SAW) and the prophet (SAW) ordered Ibn Umar to divorce his wife. Unfortunately, what we see among the elite class of Muslims today is a reverse of the case where wives instruct their husbands to send their mothers (living with them in the city) back to the village. Abu Dardai (RA) said he heard the Prophet (SAW) saying “parents are at the center of the door to paradise. You may (therefore) wish to destroy the door or safeguard it”.
Let us be reminded that parents are worth everything good in this world. Let us remember our parents in prayers (as directed in Qur’an 17:24) and pray to Allah (SWT) for the forgiveness of their sins. Let us give alms in their names and dedicate the reward due for such to them. Let us care for and treat our parents well especially in their old age. Let us avoid doing anything that will hurt them. May Allah (SWT) guide us as He guided Prophet Ismail (AS) to be unreservedly obedient to our parents, amin.